We're Smitten...
Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 01:26AM ...As in Biblical. God has decided to smite us. Only one of us believes in God, but you know... we're a couple so we share everything, including wrath.
Things have not been so great lately, Our dog died in August. She had been sick with a degenerative genetic spine thing for quite some time. Being a pure bred the lack of gene variety causes these sorts of illnesses in many dogs. Breeding is a man made concept, There's no such thing as a Terrier. And much like your retarded cousin the results of Show dogs and inbreeding are often similar. Studies show that Genetic diseases are becoming more frequent in pure breeds. I can only assume this, is payback for man playing God. None-the-less we had to put her down and it took a few weeks to get back in our groove. Grieving, for a pet or a person is a process, it's over when it's over.
Like the proverbial...uh... proverb? God had decided to fuck with something else we hold dear... Squidpod. After 4 solid days of shooting and two feverish weeks of editing. God deleted a huge amount of work off my external drive. in literally seconds. One minute there, gone the next. The nerds will tell me that it was due to a bad B-tree catalogue or some such heresy, but I know, this was no act of mere machine.
"But Job* at least you have your health!" good point. Except I don't. I'm also diagnosed this month with Barette's Esophagus. A fun medical condition which restricts my diet, limits my drinking and puts me on the Cancer watch list. Oh and we get to sleep on a super fun bed that's sloped 25º at the head so that gravity will keep stomach acid in my stomach. Thanks Satan you dick... you're gonna win this bet on a technicality.
No matter how much lamb's blood we painted on the door, the last plague came for us. No, the locusts haven't shown up, but our landlord did with an eviction notice. He made a cool million dollars, selling our place to a guy who "can't be bothered by tenants" and would rather have vacant property. Awesome! We love this place, it's exactly right for us. We got everything exactly how we like it and boom, six months in... See ya. Fuck them, I'm taking as much copper as I can out of the walls before we go.
If we're being tested, one of us is going to fail. If this is coincidence (which it is) chaos is not as organized as I care for it to be. Either way I don't think we can take much more of this.
We've got two things left to hold onto; Our Jobs and getting married. Somebody invited God to the wedding so we're good there... and I can't get fired if I don't twitter from work anymore, right?
I may not believe in God but I fear him just the same...
*God and Satan made a bet that the devout Job (pronounced Jobe) would renounce his faith if God ruined his life... He didn't... Satan was God's slave for a month.
Update: November 1st, 2009
Trying to get married in a foreign country when both parties are divorced is insanely expensive. After dropping a few hundred on paperwork, we found out that the translation fees would be another grand. At this point I might as well have stood on t the street corner with my wallet open inviting people to help themselves.
So just to add a whole new level of stress, we decided to get married at City Hall one week after we move.
The move itself went well then, second day in Jenn Realized that during the workweek we live below a bowling alley (figuratively). There is no sound proofing, and it wasn't exactly advertised as such. And the Coupe de Grace, wait for it... wait for it ... while hanging a shelf I managed to put a screw through a water pipe causing a minor flood... the cost of that damage is TBD.
Knock on all the wood you can find for us squiddies.
Reader Comments (4)
I had a feeling times were shitty for you two but I had no idea about your esophagus, Joel. I usually am not one to tell people how to run their life but in this case, I do hope that you've quit smoking or are in the process of doing so.
Hang tight, things can only get better. Really. I think.
I quit smoking about two weeks before I found out...
Keep your chin up. When life give you shit, make shit-ade.
I'm totally sick of drinking shit-ade