Summer

‘Tis the season.

Yes, summer is finally back and I realized something very important. I need the sun, I crave the sun, I will worship the sun. My need is demonstrated from the bike riding I have actually begun, my craving is enhanced by the ice cream I shoved into my face yesterday and my worshipping may include last year’s bikini. We’ll see if the last one comes into effect. Most likely that will come true as trying on bathing suits is surely is one of the levels of hell. Ask anyone – it has to be up there with a great white shark petting zoo and experimental jazz for a night. Oh and if you’ve ever had a wax anywhere it really, really hurts. I have the utmost respect for porn stars and strippers in this regard – super tough. I think other people do it too…

My insistence of everyone I know wearing sunscreen has not waned either. I do refuse to be the one though that is known as “ Oh Jennifer has some, I’ll NEVER buy any.” That is just TOO economical. On the other side I don’t want to be the “Remember the day I asked you for some SPF 50 that you wear and you didn’t give me any? Well, I pinned it down to that’s the day I got skin cancer”. I can be reasonable you know.

Now to my new love, surfing. I was TOLD that one can surf in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). The one thing someone didn’t tell me is no one wants to go in the water. It’s polluted. There is this burning need though to say to hell with it and go in anyways. Hey, if I get an extra arm, that would be handy. Any other appendage, not so good – leg, finger, ear, something else anatomically I shouldn’t have…

Is it just that people from North America get freaked out from anything in that is not “super clean”? I have heard complaints of bathrooms smelling, streets too dirty and seeing hand cleanser used to excess. There are no sneeze guards at my work covering the salad - I’m okay with that. I am also not afraid of getting swine flu. More people die every year from regular ‘ol run of the mill flu than swine or avian flu.

Back to the sun. Now my backyard is currently overrun with strangers as there is a garden centre basically being run right underneath me. When the owners; hippie Mom, her five year old and grandma, can see me in all my glory first thing in the a.m, my enjoyment of the aforementioned sun considerably lessens. and I DO NOT feel like saying hello. Fuck hello. Even if you’re 5 feet below me on my crappy metal balcony and I’m staring down at you, No Hello. There goes my semi-topless sunbathing.

So the next plan is to strategize with the next door neighbours to create a garden silo with giant sunflowers to obscure us when we sit at our borrowed picnic table. They have 4 cats which jive with our two dogs and one cat. It’s a regular menagerie. It’s wonderful that my dogs eat all the cat poo in the yard and then come and lick me with cat poo tongue. Mmmm. Yes, I know what dog ownership is all about and I embrace it in all it’s glory.

So summer, here’s to your bar patios dangerously close to my home, your crackheads, shaking on my corner, the free outdoor pools with questionable urine content and to the very best all around season there is.

Comments

[Patty]

Jenn Loved this-- you are a great writer---it made my day.